New Year's Eve

Yep, tomorrow will be new years nite. My BF having a small party tonight along with his office mates. I stuck in my room finishing some old project. Pretty dull but let see the positive things.. :)

Now, Im thinking about my new years resolution, lets write it down...
1. Eating less noddles n eat healthy (thinking of starting my workout regime, new swimsuit as a start! :))
2. Read 12 books with varied tittle
3. Watch more TV serials (Mad men, Bones, etc)
4. Add 3 new-real-best friends from work
5. Got engaged or even better (ahem!it's sound more like a hope rather than resolution,ha3!)
6. successfully finished my 12 months orientation with awesome remark! :P
7. write more insightful stories on my blog
8. save money consistently every months
9. always enjoy and grateful for everyday ahead! :)
10. Amin!!

Tadaaa...Feeling optimistic!!!

So, I got a job..hehe..

where?

hint: Reputable formula milk company

Feeling : proud, optimistic, enthusiast.

gonna home by night but still got a lot unfinished work with my lecture. Moved from my rented room by 10th January (or earlier) and will start work soon..oh Im excited..

Really hope this job will run well and enjoyable in terms of experience and lesson. The challenges are quite big but Im sooo in it! bismillah..wish me luck guys... :D

Alhamdulillah

I know I cant thank enough..

Allah, alhamdulillah..

U've given me another beautiful gift in such proper time...

a job!! finally! heheee

One thing,

Please do keep me humble for I dont want to be cocky person.

and I hope this job will run very well...

amiiiin.

when I get old

so, i was helping my lecturer on some projectial base work. She is kinda old, well I dont know how old she is but I can tell she is no longer fast and thorough. Perhaps, due to her age it is quite difficult to follow the demand of technology (using computer, etc) in her work. so, she has 4 or 5 flashdisks with different file in it. One for her book project and the other for this and that so she wont get confuse and mixed up. Each file took less that 1 GB in each Flashdisk while the flasihdisk contain 2GB memory. The sad part is, she also needs to put a label on each flashdisk so she wont forget whats inside. :'(

But, event tough she become so forgetful, I still able to recognize her rich knowledge and strong mind. she is still spirited and one clever person I believe. One thing that I pointed out is..how cruel age could do to us? it makes me sad to imagine my self in my old time..become forgetful and slow and confuse and attached from the novelty of life..hiks. I simply hope in those time I will have some one to hold. someone to hug so I wont feel that sad.

I'm not afraid of being old as long as I have people I love around me. Oh I wanna hug someone so bad right now. Hehehe. lets embrace our age and keep updated, our practise in reading will be a help for our memories in the old age. so, keep read and stimulate the brain.

Bruyant

I have questions in my head,
I have doubt, dream, fear and courage...at the same time.
I have nothing in my hand but I want to hold the world.

I need others but I hate to be dependent. stand on my own. always my option. Don't care how helpless I am, I will never depend on you, I read the signs that you are (also) not ready (yet) to assist me in any of my difficulties, in fact, I actually capable of solving my problems on my own. we're equal, I owe you nothing, so lets think it this way.just to make it clear.

Oh I hate delusional idea about relationship.F.

Just so you know, I can feel it anytime there's a distance you create or unwillingness you try to hide. That's all caught by my radar. again. just to make it clear. I will never depend on you. fair square. no worries. :)

Such a night!

Some burglars came into my kosan last night. They stole the host's laptop, cell phones and money. After one of my kosan mate recognize one of them try to open her door, she shoo the burglar away and calls another kosan mate. After the burglar run away, All the girls in my Kosan awake and turn into chatty yet fearfull crowd. such a damn scary night. It appears that those burglars also stole something in the neighboor kosan last night, so I suggest they worked in team.

I hate them they make me afraid. I cant Imagine If they come and approach my window try to open the door, I must be freeze in fear. Ugh.

Now my Host about to turn on the alarm again, which I hope could help a bit.

What I hate most is the fact that I (and all the girls) cant continue our sleep due to this event. And I feel so in-need-of sleep right now...arrrghhh...

I hope those burglar will learn their lesson somehow, their bad deeds will surely back to them. Oh, How i miss a safe environment.

Lets Talk about Formula milk

well, It appears that WHO curbs the baby formula adverts due to some reasons:

1. Breast feed is the best way to feed your baby.
2. It helps the baby to meet its potential needs along the golden developmental phase (exclusively 6 months).
3. It helps the baby from health or mental problem in the future.
4. The increase use of formula milk means the reduce on the breast feeding activity among mothers.

And, Third world nations who are known as the largest formula milk consumer should deal with some threat like:

1. The lack of refrigerator in their households which make the formula milk, once opened, changed in nature.
2. The lack of purified water to mix the formula milk make em' vulnerable from bacteria.

so, the International code of marketing of breast-milk substitute bans any kind of public advertisements of formula milk. The company also not allowed to advertise their products to health facilities or health professionals, or giving samples to pregnant women, young mothers or new families. they also emphasize the importance to put a label that promote the best way to feed babies, through breast feeding. In the other hand, WHO also encouraged women to atleast breast feed their babies exclusively for 6 months.

But, to be fair, Formula milk is actually not a bad thing, it is just not preferable. because, in 2001, WHO release a statement that formula milk if prepared accord with applicable codex of alimentarius (comission made by FAO and WHO for food regulation), then it is nutritionally adequate and safe complimentary food and suitable breast feed substitute under health professional watch.

well, I my self will absolutely try to give my baby exclusive breast feeding, but, I also very open toward any possible difficulties (In which I hope wont happen).

Life Is Beautiful Mr. Schindler...

It was a title of two movies, Life is beautiful ( La vita e bella, played by Roberto Benigni) and Schindler's list. Both are telling the story about Holocaust in Nazi era. sad. I watched the first movie years ago but then I finally have the courage to watch Schindler's list. (yeah I have the tendency to avoid a movie that create discomfort due to it's disturb story or scenes). But, finally I decided to watch it anyway, and Im very satisfied, the movie is good. Cz I love movie that stimulate my emotion , awaken my awareness and taught me good values.

But, I shall make several notes here, of course I adore the acting of Liam neeson (as Oskar Schindler, the Austrian Industrialist who saved 1,100 jews from Auscwitzh), Ben Kingsley (as Mr.Stern), and Ralph Fiennes (as Amon goeth),, Its just..most of the scenes are very disturbing with very strong graphics, killings, shooting, abuse, etc..It made me sick..Ralph Fiennes acting was insane, He played the SS commander who did the crazy random killings and I almost believe He is the real Amon goeth (sick). In the other hand, the story itself been made very realistic, I love the way they build the emotional bonding between Schindler and the workers (in a very implicit way but I can feel it), and I love how there are not too much drama on the movie. I cried several times, due to some heart-breaking scenes that shakes my sense of humanity (so prepare some tissue before you watch it). Btw, You can read the review here.

Liam Neeson as Oskar Schindler

sir Ben Kingsley as Mr. Itszhak Stern, the Jew.

Look famillier? Ralph Fiennesis ( the guy who played Lord Voldemort) as Amon goeth The crazy sick SS.

Overall, this film is good, because the story is good and the values from the story itself made me fall in love with a thing called consciousness. I suppose as a human, we should put our conduct on the base of consciousness so we could use the heart in every of our action. I cant imagine, nor want to imagine, a person like Hitler..as sick as he is..as crazy as he is..become a leader that being loved and feared by his followers, which I think, as sick as He himself.

I cant believe my mind, my eyes..how people could be very blind and cruel and sick like that? well, I actually got the explanation in my social psychology class but I'm too lazy to explain it now..hee..I just love to watch those movie, cz those movie remind me to keep my act on the base on my very own consciousness..thus I wont treat others with bad behavior..thus I wont hurt others in a way I cant forgive my self...Thus I will always respect people, no matter who they are...where they come from or what they do..

It is always right to treat man as human, with respect and love...

Black

just want to cry.like thousands other time.

thank you.

one of The Thing I hate Most

I actually HATE my self very much, when I start to depend on someone.

yeah,right, I don't want bother people in any way. If I can handle it by my self, so be it.

But, sometimes I cant hold my self I need a shoulder to cry.

And at one point that make me hate my self for troubling other people.

I stubbornly want to be an Independent person because I have the fear when one day I suddenly left alone I will lost my balance and collapse. No I don't want that. I want to be strong enough to stand on my own feet and do my own things.

I've seen a betrayal that caused the worst fall of a dependent person. I don't want to add the statistics.

A comforting distraction

The truth is,

I lost my focus on the movie I watched because of the comfort of laying my head on my boyfriend's shoulder.best feeling.ever.

I Hate waiting but I love Trees!!!

I still dont understand people who are being late and make other people wait. How they could do that? I was like havin an appointment this afternoon, at lunch, at 12 Pm sharp. U guess what? this person didnt show up nor reply my text. I've been waiting like 30 minutes by now. Its enough. I cant any longer sitting down with uncertainty hangin on my head staring those stairs where I suppose to meet that person.

C2 Building, the old building at my campus.

I hate people who are late, forgetting their own appointment and super difficult to reach.

Im kind of on time person, mostly early. I respect time and people I will meet, so there it is, I cant tolerate any lateness, especially when it is over 30' min of my patience limit. Whoever the person might be, even a president. once he/she is late it means LATE!!!.

Anyhow, Lets jump into other topic. One day (been months ago) I walk around near Rektorat at my campus (yeah, Im pretty much live in a small world called campus, haha), untill my eyes catch something unique. In the yard of the rektorat, There are Huge tree trunk just Planted around the area, they so big they need scaffolding to hold em. Im so excited coz I love trees and I think It was such a good Idea to plant more Tree in the area (rather than build more concrete building, yeah rite!!). SO, I took a photo of it untill I forgot about the Tree.
The next week when I was at home I watch the news on Tivi about UI's new green program, by planting those Tree!! It appears that the Tree was relocated from Subang and it is originally from Africa and called as the African Baobab. The news said that the trees are impossible to die, cant be burn nor chopped down or anything! cool! It means my grand grand children would probably could see the trees (yep! I hope they go to the same univ. as I do, haha, well, ITB also fine..haha). I hope they dont get cut down like the other Tree around my campus.

The huge Baobab tree. Grow well and enjoy ur stay sir! :)

Berasa Real-time!!

Pernah gak sih lo, minta sesuatu sama yang diatas terus langsung dikasih?. Well, kemaren malem gw agak2 insomnia gitu, susah tidur. Ngglundung kekanan, ga pewe, ngglundung ke kiri, gak pewe juga.udah kaya cacingan gw dikasur gundah gulana gitu.

biasa banget kan tu kalo lagi susah tidur segala pikiran bersliweran mulai dari londrian kapan ditaro sampe besok makan siangnya apa ya?. Itu mending, kemaren yang gw pikirin adalah kabar proses seleksi di perusahaan SH yang gak kunjung ada kabarnya, ampe lumutan gw nungguin. Akhirnya malem kemaren gw mohon2 tuh dalem hati supaya Allah ngasih gw petunjuk besok, pokoknya besok (maksa gila ya gw, hihii). gw minta seenggaknya dikasih clue tentang masa depan gw. apakah harus kekeuh sumekeh kerja dulu atau haruskah gw gambling marambling cari beasiswa. SOalnya gw udah nggak tahan banget men, ni proses seleksi2an di beberapa perusahaan jalannya lambreta banget udah kaya siput kecetit.kagak sampe-sampe.sigh.

Nah, hari ini, tepatnya sore tadi gw ditilpun ama HR nya SH itu, udahlahya opening dan lalla lili...herannya gw santai aja, apapun hasilnya ya itu berarti 'clue' yang dikasih Allah buat gw. Naah, setelah introduction dsb (lo kate opening statement? maklum eyke mantan anak debat, muihihihi), si mbak HR yang baik hati itu bilang.."Maaf ya sepertinya nggak bisa di MT HR kita, soalnya usernya lebih prefer yang satunya..."

Gw ngrasa loss aja gt, tau deh tu gimana jelasinnya, FYI gw emang ngarep gila sama position ini soalnya company-nya oke dan gw liat prospeknya juga mayanlah..tapi abis dikasih kabar gt, gw cuma narik napas panjang sambil berusaha tetep santai (abis aslinya gw emang cool bener deh orangnya, hahaa).

Terus si mbak pun melanjutkan, "tapi point bagusnya.. pas wawancara sama director..blablabalabala...jadi blablabalaba...."

Dan kamipun ngobrol cukup panjang buat tanya ini itu tentang 'blablaba' tersebut. Hmmf, satu hal ya, ketika gw minta sesuatu dan Allah langsung kasih itu, walo gak sesuai harapan, gw berasa seneng loh...berasa ngadunya gw sama yang diatas real-time gt...langsung dijawab! :D

sekarang gw males ngapa2in, efek kabar tadi kali ya..yang pasti gw ikhlas..dan bersyukur juga sih karena ngrasa ditujunkin jalan yang sebaiknya gw tempuh..yaitu nyoba blablabalba itu..hehe..since blablabla juga belom fix, gw males nyebutnye, takut pamali..yang pasti, tetep doain gw ya guys!! mungkin jalan gw emang nggak segampang yang laen, tapi gw yakin..there will be a sweet surprise at the end. amiiin.

Irsa dan Creebo

Tadi siang si Nessi Ovania Widianingrum (bener ga neh spellingnye?) a.K.a Nesbo a.K.a creebo, temen gw dari jaman EsEmPe nyolek2 gw di chat. Terjadilan obrolan berikut (kurang lebih):


I : blablabala
N : blablablabla
I : eh gw punya blog, baca dong
N : nah lo kan pengangguran update aja blognya terus
I : Emang diupdate tiap hari kaliiiii!!! #Jlebb.
N : Hahahaha

Siaul temen gw yang satu ini! gw sumpahin kriting tau rasa! hahaha!
(damn!!, dia emang udah keriting dari lahir.zzz.cari kutukan laen dulu deh..)

ps: blabala itu adalah bagian yang mana saya lupa ngobrolin apa. Haha. geblek.

Fallin for you

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly

I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found you

As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us

-for my dear Brr for the amazing support over my insomniac and breakdown nights-

Greeny my PC!

Thats My Laptop name. Just got the name a second ago because I think Im gonna need some kind of identification before talk about my laptop. hehe. So here she Is, Greeny. (And yes it a girl!:D).Why Greeny? nothing I just found a bit touch of green color in its Aspire 4751Z logo.




My laptop been with me approximately four years, since the second or third semester at college. She Is my devout companion. My center of work and everything. Ohya before I use this Laptop I used to used Dell netbook (forget the version) which was old enough to be remembered as a hero in my early days at college.

I love my laptop so much I hope she will stay alive for at least the next three or four years. Even tough I believe by that time she will looked very out dated and heavy and old.Hehe. I used to carry her around at campus, every day, in the bestest and worst situation ever. SHe's been loyally with me along the thesis making process, and she's been awesome for staying usable even I almost use her 24 hours 7 days/ week. I do hibernate or shut her down when I not use it. saving energy.

Now, she still doing okay, but one of the left button on the keyboard (I don't know whats it name) kinda broken, I need to push it hard until its work.sigh. I wished I used a mouse so my keyboard wont be broken easily. Ohya, The CD room also seems not comfort to use anymore now it creates Buzzing sounds like a working motor..broom..broom..broomm..added with dramatic shaking all over it. SO, I never use it for watching any dvd or anything, that's why I bought a Phillips dvd player which I love so Much. This Phillips dvd player is my favorite gadget. Hehe. (I can feel my laptop start to get jealous by now, hehe).

I just hope Greeny cant stay with me for any challenges ahead, sorry Greeny I didn't give you a proper care nor proper service, I even too lazy to buy a new PC fan..hee. I Love u somehow.

Mari Hidup Sehat!!! Yosh!

Belakangan setiap lagi makan perut gw terasa perih..kadang perih banget berasa ditonjok bencong yang kagak ada cantik2nya. Ewwh. Semakin lama gw semakin worried, takut kenapa2..kayaknya emang gw maag dan takut makin parah. Padahal disekitar gw ada kisah nyata, kk temen gw atau anak temen bokap gw yang kena maag akut gitu sampe meninggal. Gara2 makan telat, gak teratur dan cuek melulu sampe maag-ya udah parah banget gt deh. (adeew gak mauuu).

Karena itu gw pun mulai belajar buat makan teratur, setiap 4 jam sekali dalam jumlah yang cukup. Walaupun agak susah buat anak kosan kayak gw (males keluar kosan buat cari makan),tapi demi kesehatan akan gw jabanin!! :D

Bismillah, smoga program makan teratur gw sukses dan amit2 pohon kelapa (kagak nyambung,haha) jangan sampe gw kena penyakit yang serem2!!.

Ayo Sehat Kuat Setiap Saat!! (setel musik, SKJ!!)

Oem-Oem Genitch!! (eewwh)

Okay, gw barusan terinspisari sama blog seseorang yang udah jadi buku itu loh. Bukan, Bukan yang bawa-bawa nama hewan itu. Tapi yang kocak dan bikin ketawa, nyeritain ttg pengalaman bankir gt (Halah sok rahasia banget! judulnya bankir sesa(a)t! ) hehehe.

Gw terinspirasi buat nyeritain pengalaman yang unik, pengalaman aseli, pake teks bahasa Indonesia (ada yang lempar kamus kegirangan) . well, pengalamannya bukan pengalaman lucu sih, tapi pengalaman unik. tentang sahabat gw pas kuliah yang Te O Pe Be Ge Te (TOP BGT!).

Ceritanya, sekitar taun 2008 akhir gw jadi project officer sebuah acara dikampus. Entah kenapa tu acara seret banget dapet sponsor. Padahal gw sudah mengerahkan sabahat gw (bukan nepotisme ya tp emang susah cari panitia, haha) buat jadi Danus, sebut aja sabahat gw itu si Cina-pinter-cantik-berjiwakepemimpinan-sedikit-jutek. Nah, dia udah berusaha tuh mengerahkan tim danusnya, tapi emang dasar jaman lagi resesi ya bok (taon 97 udah lewat kalee, alasan!), susaaah banget, padahal tu acara udah mepet butuh suntikan dana segar (tsaah).

Untungnya, gak berapa lama si Cina-pinter-cantik-berjiwakepemimpinan-sedikit-jutek ini ketemu dengan seorang bapak-bapak di sebuah event. Bapak-bapak ini ternyata penyumbang dana yang potensial, nah si temen langsung tuh promosi acara kita. Pucuk dicinta ulam pun Tiba!! tu Bapak yang notabene salah satu direktur wahana-tempat-bermain-yang-rame-itu setuju buat mengucurkan dana sebesar 5 juta rupiah tanpa syarat apapun!!!. (prok3).

Pas temen gw ngabarin berita ini, kita langsung heboh seneng bikin syukuran (gak denk! lebay). Pokonya tinggal tunggu urusan sama sekretarisnya langsung transfer. Gw lega. (ngelap keringet).

Anehnya, beberapa hari kemudian si temen mulai merasa aneh, si Bapak itu jadi rajin telpon dan sms. Gw pun mulai curiga dan teman gw mulai tersiksa. Kamipun mulai bingung. Mana tu duit kagak ditransper2. set daah.

keanehan nggak berhenti sampe situ aja, temen gw bilang duit bakal ditransper bentar lagi, tapi si Bapak ngajak dia lunch dong bok! akhirnya tu Bapak udah gak layak dipanggil Bapak lagi, karena tingkahnya yang menurut kami kecentilan dan mulai gak wajar, kami sepakat buat manggil doi Om-Om genitch atau disingkat OOG!!. Karena butuh banget tu duit sponsorship, temen gw pun rela makan bareng si OOG di sebuah restoran jepang ternama di Jakarta. Tadinya gw menawarkan bantuin buat nemenin si temen bareng pasukan sekompi, tapi temen gw emang berani banget bok, diapun akhirnya memutuskan pergi bareng pacarnya.

Pokoknya hari itu gw rada worried deh, perasaan gw gak karuan dan perut gw mules2 melulu (emang abis makan pedes sih). Gw takut dia kenapa-napa, yah walopun makan barengnya siang-siang tapi kan tetep aja ya bok. Parno gw!!

Keesokannya pas dikampus temen gw cerita, kemaren makan sama tuh si OOG, cowoknya jagain gak jauh dari TKP. Katanya sih ngobrol2 biasa, cerita tentang keluarga dan ini itu. Tapi kata temen gw, si OOG sempet mau pegang tangannya gitu (pas denger gw langsung emosi siapin golok sama clurit!!!), untung si temen dengen lihai menunjukkan ketidaksukaannya. Intinya, kayaknya si OOG nyadar bahwa temen gw bukan tipe cewek yang bisa digitu2in (dipegang tangannya maksut gw, hihihi) dan dia gak bakal dapet apapun dari temen gw. Akhirnya mereka pun kembali mengobrol ke hal2 yang standar dan di akhir makan siang yang nyeremin-banget-buat-temen-gw itu si OOG berjanji untuk segera mentransper uang sponsorshipnya. Semua berjalan baik dan nampaknya si OOG mengurungkan apapun niat buruknya.

Gw lega. Aseli lega banget temen gw gak kenapa2. Selain itu gw juga terharu, temen gw itu emang keren dan loyal banget deh, doi dengan setia nemenin gw yang waktu itu lagi kacau takut tu acara gak jadi, dia emang hebat! sahabat gw yang lain juga hebat!! totally stand behind my back when I was attacked from all direction (curcol, masalalu, no offense sekarang mah damaiii,hihihi).

Dan gak berapa lama tu duit sponsor dikirim dong! hebat ga tuh pengorbanan temen gw demi dapet sponsorship dan demi bantuin gw??! wow, nih gw kasih bintang jasa (pin UI yang 3500-an!hehe).

inti cerita ini adalah, bukan fakta bahwa OOG emang ada ya (secara ini mah nenek2 jago kungfu juga tau) tapi bahwa ketika lo berada di saat yang sulit, sahabat adalah orang yang ngasih lo kemudahan...gak heran kan gw sayang banget sama sahabat gw ini!! smooch!.

Ps: 1. sekarang doi calon credit analyst officer di bank swasta ternama di Indonesia (keren ga tuh?!).
2. Gw bawa2 kata Cina bukan gw rasist! tapi justru karena temen gw emang Cina dan karena gw kagum sama kinerjanya orang Cina yang ulet, tangguh dan somehow kulitnya putih2 banget!!(mulai sirik,hihihi).

XOXO

Touched in The heart

I woke up late.

Took bath

and fastly went to FKM for a simple med check-up cz I need to issue this letter that stating about my good health condition.

Its funny though how we cud decide someone is healthy by checkin the blood pressure and tongue color only.Hehe. Whatevs I was glad It didnt take Long. It was also cheap only took 15thousands rupiah for the paper.

Now I'm listening to random songs from my play list in my rented room. I am feeling better.

Sekolah tinggi-tinggi

Ada temen yang bilang, ngapain sekolah tinggi2? toh mostly milyuner di dunia itu juga para Drop-outers. Well, kalo dari awal niatnya emang kaya, ya emang bukan sekolah jawabannya, melainkan usaha a.k.a belajar jadi enterpreneurship.

Kalo sekolah tinggi2 itu emang nggak ngejamin seseorang buat kaya, jadi kudunya orang2 yang sekolah sampe ke negeri Cina itu niatnya ya emang buat mencari ilmu. Insyalloh jadi harta di akherat kalo ilmunya bermanfaat.

Jadi jangan mendiskreditkan orang yang lagi sekolah tinggi2 cuman gara2 teorinya beberapa motivator bisnis dong. Emang niat dan hasilnya beda, dari awal kalee.

sekali lagi catet ya tet, orang2 yang pada sekolah tinggi2 itu belom tentu niatnya pengen jadi kaya kaleee....

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

It's broken my heart

when I realizes how tough your live was. Carried me along in your womb, under the heat of the sun and the cold of the wind. Stayed stand even when the wave pushed you so hard. Tear you apart. I know I will never thank you enough, because what you've done for me is way beyond amazing.

I simply wish I could always be there, beside you. Listening to every word that you mean to whisper. Watching you grow old and happy. Mom, I hope you stay strong. Chin up and be brave. I hate people who treated you badly I hope all the bad things they did will back at them thousand times harder.

I know you are such a tough women, after all those awful things in your life, you choose to hang on and face everything bravely. I don't want you to be a candle that light her surroundings while burnt herself. I want you to be a start that shine brightly, there far in the middle of galaxy, out reach from those bad people who could hurt you.

Mom,
I promised I will be your eyes that make you see beautiful colors only. I will be your ears that make you hear wonderful news only. I will be your foot that make you step into good places only. I will be your guard that protected you from anything or anyone that could brought you tears. I will.

Beacuse I love you badly.

Who I am?

Some people are look so stranded they seemed lost themselves in the crowd. For me, being a unique personality is important. I could care less with what people think about me. I don't beg to be like because I'm not fear of confrontation. I mean, If someone tell me they don't like me in front of my face, I'll be more that willing to bite back. If other person could judge me it means I have the most right to judge em back.muahaha. (evil grin). So finding another person who are not so fond of my personality is not a problem.

I just dont want to build some kind of self-presentation image that gonna make me far from the real me. If I like green and the rest of people in the world are not, I dont care I will still wearing green since I believe that our different preference sometimes the thing that make us bold and outstanding. It just sad to see people trying to hard to fit in with the mass idea about what is trend and what is not. what is good and what is not. I find my self not try too hard to be like others and also not too hard to try in being different, I just being Me. Include all my clumsy and reckless behavior (close friends know how clumsy I am).

I am not perfect I know that. But it is nice to valued my self the way I am with all my imperfections that somehow enriched my life. SO, for people who wants to know me more, this is me..

• a considerably interesting women
  
• with natural brown hair (swear I didnt dye it)
  
• Enthusiastic story teller (talk all the time with passionate tone)
  
• Positive minded
• very very clumsy person
• shoe size around 38-39
• 8 size girl
• pathetic on math
• heavy self-talker
• respect branded stuffs by not buying any
• Love the idea of everlasting love with old couple holding hands in mind
• non-smoking activist
• having a heavy movie addiction
• shorts legs and wide forehead
• share mostly everything with close friends
• always wants to be friend with anybody
• Very much avoiding conflict and awkward situation
  

basically you can ask anything to me, I'll answer your curiousity..(If u have any in which u guys wont be that interested in me, hehehe).

hati cinta

Lemah lunglai

hatiku seperti tak bernyawa

tak kuasa menahan hitam menahan kelam

jiwa yang kalah dalam pertarungan hidup

duduk bersimpuh

dibawah keangkuhanku

maaf itu meluncur dari kesadaran yang telah lama hilang

sepertia dementia yang tiba-tiba disembuhkan Tuhan

maaf itu

melesat menghantam dinding hatiku

aku luluh

tak berdaya

air mata sudah kering serpihan luka masih terasa

Kangkung dan Kailan dan anehnya gw

Alhamdulilah gw termasuk yang suka sayuran. Enggak semua jenis sih, tapi mostly yang berdaun-daun gitu. Dua favorit tentunya jatuh pada kangkung dan kailan..diikuti oleh Bawang bombay (ini masuk kategori sayuran kan?) daun singkong, jagung putri, tauge, dan tomat. Kebiasaan suka makan sayur ini mungkin tumbuh dari ajaran nyokap gw yang emang hobinya lalapan, segala sayur dimakan dong!. asal ada sambel. Dan gw pun ketularan. Bahkan ga ada sambel. Segala gw makan. heheh.

Buat gw sendiri, makan sayur itu literally enak. apalagi kalo kangkung dan kailan tersayang ditumis sama cumi2 atau ayam. selain itu gw juga ngrasa seneng aja kalo maka sayur, no guilty feeling soalnya. efek makan makanan sehat kali ya.

Belakangan,gw makan kailan tumis di mi Berkat (margonda) tapi somehow masaknya kelamaan, jadi kelembekan deh. Sama sekali nggak suka sayuran yang kematengan. Saya sukanya yang fresh masih crunchy2 gt. Krauss.krauss. Since hari itu, nggak mau pesen kailan disana lagi.

.ayam cah kailan. Pokonya ini pas di Mi Berkat (Margonda)

Kalo kangkung, gw sukanya makan kangkung cah ayam di warung sahabat yang di sawo, pinggir tukang jamur crispy. Harganya murah, masaknya cepet dan kangkungnya berasa masih renyah. Yuummmm. Satu masalahnya, tempatnya kecil banget jadi bau makanan!. Mungkin orang mikir bau makanan enak kali ya, harum2 lezat gimanaa gt, nah, kalo gw enggak. Gw suka bau makanan enak, with one condition, ketika bau makanan itu di tempat yang luas atau ada asosnya. sayangnya, di warung ini engap banget, walo ada corong buat keluarin asep keatas, tapi gara2 emang tu gang di sawo engap abis, bau makannannya jadi muter2 disitu2 aja deh. Pusing gw.

The kangkoeng @warung sahabat.Enyaak.

entah kenapa ya, gw itu enggak suka bau makanan yang muter2 di ruangan yang sempit. sesek dan engap. Percaya nggak percaya, gw hampir enggak pernah makan dikamer kosan (tanya temen kosan gw,haha). Kalo makan pasti di warungnya atau nggak nebeng di kamer Rara (hee,maap ya ra). Kalo toh terpaksa banget makan dikamer sendiri, gw pasti nyalain kipas biar bau makanannya nggak muter2 di kamer gw. (see how weird I am?). Pokonya gw nggak suka deh bau makanan diruang sempiiit, Its killing me. Kalo ada bau2 makanan diruang sempit, gw pasti uring2an...kipaaassssssssssss.

Yap,itulah sedikit keanehan gw yang entah kenapa gw ceritain. just random. just me. tunggu keanehan lainnya...hehe

Penasaran

Kadang gw heran,

ada nggak sih orang lain yang baca blog ini selain gw sendiri?
kalo dari hitstat-nya sendiri sih pastinya ada, hehe (ngelap jidat,lega).

tapi kayanya emang perlu redefinisi istilah blogwalking sama stalking atau lurking deh. sama aja. sama-sama gak keliatan wujudnya.

Yang pasti gw sangat mengapresiasi orang yang mau nyedian waktunya buat baca tulisan-tulisan gw yang random dan labil ini. kalian pasti orang yang sabarnya luar biasa..hehe.

love u dear my misterious readers, xoxo.

Such a rainy day

Literally, It is raining now. But the rain that I refer to was actually more psychological. The gloomy feeling that I feel. I cursed a lot today, the F word, the S word..multiple times. I think I still have some anger left and need it out, so yeah, I was acting pretty weird this day.

To make things even worse, I met a friend who asked me about job (I hate this topic lately), how long I've been jobless and how pathetic is to be company slaves. Burn. He really made my day. Put salt on my wound. EF. I really wish he know that I was very much like him, an idealist that avoiding end up working and supporting this capitalist world. BUT, fyi the reality will taught you a Lot. It is not so easy to keep your dream when the surroundings demand and offer different things. I just wish he put himself on my shoes before made any comment about my recent decision to work in a company that seek profits. I believe he will see that it is not easy, at all, to deal with the life after graduation. It is a serious time that asked us to make a serious decision. Keep your Ideal dream is a fine thing, but when there is an urgent need from your environment to do differently, then I suppose you should be what it is needed NOW.

To be honest, I believe that in near future I'll be the one who responsible for my sisters education. I'll be the one that will be the back bone of my family. SO, NOTE THIS...it is important for me to get a good job and earn money. seriously, I have my dream but I'm fully aware of whats important for my family's sake right now. Stop telling me that I'm too picky, because I was only try to get the best job I could have. You cant judge me, nor the situation I am In, without experiencing first what I truly feel. So, you better keep your mouth shut.

I hate bragging to much about my situation but I really wish people not make any comment on things that they dont really know. It is not easy to stand on your own feet, to lose balance while hold a burden on your shoulder. It is not easy to be me. I did and doing my best, simply hope that one day I'll be able to fulfill my responsibility. If you ask me whether I am afraid or not? well, Yes, Iam afraid. I fear of failure that gonna prolonged my dependency while I cant ask any support anymore. I fear of my future whether I'll be able to support my lil sisters or not. I fear that I cant reach my target. And the funny thing is, I'm worrying about my rented room for next month because I have not got any money..haha.

Whatevs, even in such difficult situation I'll always positive and optimistics. I believe god will help me out. He never gave an impossible task for us, I just wish god didnt trust me that much. So, here I am keep telling my self about how happy life is actually. Yeah, Im working on that, changing this sad mood into something better. still learn to forgive and try to see the sunshine that will come, after this darkness.

-we always burdened by trouble that we thought as impossible but at the end it will passed somehow- (irsa, 2010)

Resolution

Some people might have a list of resolution each time new year was comin. well, I am not that kind of person. It is not because I don't have any need to improve or achieve something but rather because I've got the big picture. I did the drawing of my life path and I'm so clear about it (at least that what I thought,haha). The thing is, There was always changes here and there in my life plan. Changes that suddenly come along with how my life turns out. recently, I have this "aha' moment in which changed the whole aspects of my life. I always plan to be a lecturer and I'm on my way there, But there was a point (recently) where I should reconsider what my dream is and somehow try to fit it with the reality that comes.

Point taken, now I plan to be a serious career women.

and that's my resolution. which is made in such awkward timing way far from new year's eve.hehe.

whatevs, Since it is something that come with the highest possibility, I will not let go my chance here. I will be focus in building my career until one day I achieve the target I already set up. Now my heart and mind are so open to it and I'll do my best if I got the chance.

I still have not found the job I want yet, sorry words corrected, I've found the job I totally want but I still in the middle of the selection process. Hope y people wish me tons of luck. :D

Btw did you know that I only want to work for a company that sells good products and somehow I always bragging about that? haha. I got this interview experience lately that make me felt kinda ashamed and surprised, hehe...

me : I am so excited to work for this company cz I believe this company sells good products, nutritional foods for babies...(smile confidently)
OD manager : so you think this company is selling good products?
me : Ya sure, if we compare to a company that sells carbonate drinks..duuhh.. (super confident and bit cynical)
OD manager : well, I actually worked for 8 years in that drink company before I work here.
me : oops... (damn I'm cursed!)

lesson learned: considering about think thrice before I open my mouth.Haha.

why should women be independent?

'there is no one born, rather than becomes a women". -simon de beavoir-

The lesson is, being a women (which include the feminine aspects its contain) is shaped by the norm in society. It means that we have the chance to become stronger and better in all possible way, as man do. The problem we have here (in Indonesia) is that women sometimes get so oppressed in a marriage. when the marriage is no longer healthy for two party involved, women usually trapped in so called the 'marriage investment'. I remembered in one class my lecturer said that 'marriage investments' could be seen as a thick rope of emotional and financial dependency toward their husband that bind them tight. It is more psychological rather than something tangible. That's why most of Indonesian women tend to hang on in a destructive marriage for the sake of their too deep consideration about earning, the children's future, etc.

Thus, I encouraged women to be independent and open minded. The possibility to be trapped in such awful marriage always exist. Therefore, It is important for women to make a tough decision and put their well-being as their utmost priority. when the financial security become a threat then lets be independent in terms of having a job, creating earning or at least develop a set of usefull skills. Dont let your self become weak and easily tricked. women are suppose to be tough and clever. Women have the right to be happy, but sometimes they forget it.

Responsibilities..

I always know that each of us have our own responsibility in this life. A father to provide his family, a mother to pour love and care, a sister to take care of her younger sister, etc. It is a rule of life, something that bond to our fate as a human. when we were given a role in this life, responsibility follow.

I my self always feel that I have some sort of responsibility toward other people in my life. My lil sisters especially. They are looked like small little things that I should protect carefully, I've been hurt in the past and I dont want them to experience the same pain. I want to create a super safe and beautiful world for them.

Several days ago, I've been into the worst place ever. Even darker than my 'Thesis madness' period. yesterday was a huge dissappoinment and sorrow. I lost my place to hold on, so does people around me. We were in Chaos..actually it still happen until today. There is a wound, a deep and bleeding cut. But as the time goes, there is person who put salt on it..all the time. The pain is unbearable...for me..for people I love.

Our heart shattered. broken into pieces. we tried to forgive...but the situation get worse, turn into something that cant be tolerate anymore...I am in a point where I'm ready to let go...

But by letting go means a bigger responsibility for me. I should do this and that, make sure everything well protected and fine...Its tough, but I am the most fit person to be depended on, so this is my job..and I am more than willing to do ANYTHING for people I love most. for my family.

I just thankful that I am an androgyny, I could do both feminine and masculine task. I am able to do anything needed. I'm tough. I am strong. I'll work my ass so hard I'll do anything for my family. Now my concern is my family..My mom, my lil sisters, my elder sister and my niece...they're the center of my life and my life is making them happy..

I always this stubborn and strong willed. Those make me feel that I am ready in doing this new responsibility. I should put aside my pain and think the other way around, I should stop crying, and start smiling for my family. I'm glad that I'm actually an independent person. changing lamp, buying Gallon water or fix the electricity is no big deal to me!!!!

Anger management

I think I'm gonna need that. I had this heart breaking event that upset me so bad. I always response toward such thing with strong expression of my emotional state, whether i am angry or sad. The problem is, now i should be mad at some one that I really attached to. Some0ne that as close as my own vein.

It is so hard when I have to show my anger while in the other hand I also feel an infinite love for this person. I really feel the dilemma now.And it become a total discomfort to me.

I cant skipped this thing and forgive easily, since it is a super awful blunder this person did. I want this person to feel my anger, to see that i am upset. And i want this person learn the lesson.

It is not easy to be in such anger.To feel the burn in my heart. The pain.

But I feel that i need to express it so that this kind of person will know the consequences of their behavior. toward people they love.

I hope we will solve this trouble soon. I'm tired of being this evil character. I want everything back to normal. And forgive again. It takes time. I'll just wait.

I hope this person come to his/her sense and start everything with honesty.

love bigger than hate.

Tsunami and Mount Eruption

IT came out of nowhere. The deadly wave of Tsunami and The volcano eruption of Merapi. People killed while others get hurt. Let send our prayers for them and hope everything will be better.soon. It broke my heart when i saw a baby covered in volcanic dust, it was so painful. I really hope they will have the proper logistics and supports.

Let show our support by donate some money

to
IDEA Yogyakarta
Bank Mandiri cab MM UGM
acc. no: 137-000-438-0818

Happy Birthday boy...

October 26, 2010: 03.00 Pm.
It was raining hard and windy.
I wore my blue jeans dress and put on my purple shoes.
I bought a tiny Tiramisu cake and took last year candle from my small box.
It was cold and breezy. I soaked and got wet.
but i enjoyed it. I felt happy and excited.

October 26, 2010: 4.55 Pm.
I'm arrived. Made a call and got a cold answer on the phone.
someone get confused.
I waited and didn't find a glimpse of smile.
Small tiny feel of sadness and that's all.


Conclusion:

I think the surprise didnt run well since that was still 26th oct and he didnt expect me to come and most of all he didnt think it was the right time to give a surprise..way too early i guess. He just finished his work and look tired.
I felt that my too-early-surprise ruined the whole mood, he was tired btw. So, yeah. Whatever. I did my best.
Even tough this birthday wasn't so special i would like to say:

"Happy birthday sayang, wish you all the best in life : a good laugh and wonderful days.
I hope you grown up a gentle man and not carried away too much with your work. Don't forget to eat healthy and always listen to your heart. I've been with you for this past four years and mostly i feel happy. You add colors into my life and taught me a lot. I hope we both could grow together, become person that complete each other. I know good days are not always happen, and we should deal with bad days somehow. I wish we will survive the bad time and enjoy the good time. less sad eyes and more smiles."

-with love-

A dialogue

God

Thank you for reminding me

how i should stay believing

strengthen my faith

God

I have this little dream

That i pray deep inside my heart

I know you know that

please let me have it

and keep it as one of your wonderful gift


I love you God.

Me These days

I used to be quite an out going person. I love to know someone new and easily get close with people. I used to.

I dont really know what's goin on with me, but lately, every time I'm in a new environment or meet with new people, all i want to do is to seclude my self and set silent.

I avoid starting any conversation and reluctantly introduce my self to others, only when it needed for.

I guess I enjoy my loneliness too much I don't want anyone disturb me. I just want to be alone, even in a room full with people. I prefer to get busy with my own mind.

I talked less, I smile less, I become a very quiet person that i used to hate. haha.

This guy is Krahzeee!!

Did i tell you that i've been doing this good girl role for the whole of my life? i don't smoke, drink, left alone do drugs! I just dont!..hee. But recently, i encounter this person, when i did one test for job related purpose. He was in one FGD with me and basically we were quite upset with the FGD conclusion. We fastly became friend and he is simply nice person to talk with. well, long story short, he offer me a very helping help to drop me on the bus stop (which was quite complicated to reach)....

well, since his help was very helpful and it make my journey back home easier so i took it. I didnt really familiar with the area anyway. So, before i jumped on his motorcycle i asked whether it is okay to take me along because i didn't wear a helmet. he did say it is fine. I don't really know the meaning of his 'fine' until then...

we left the test building quite a while ago and now about to turn right to the opposite direction of the road. There were a traffic jam. Lots of cars and motorcycles and any other things crowd the road. I was enjoying my view, the crowd street. Suddenly, he made the most unpredictable, fast and dangerous maneuver ever!!! This happen so fast!. There was a police man standing in front of us, he wave his hand ask us to stop. A second later this friend of mine speed up his motorcycle toward the police, stop an inch in front of the police, the police almost got me, and then in half a second he turn right while the police man's hand about to catch me!!he speed again, pull his brake! stop in front of a mid-size Pick up truck! for two seconds! and speeded again in the middle of the very jammed traffic until it is impossible to get caught!!! Wtf!!!. I Laughed all the way to the bus stop!

That was the most adrenaline pumping experience i've ever been! not only i broke the law (oops) i also confront the policeman by involving my self in that very risky run-away- strategy! Holy Sh**! haha. The funny thing is this guy took Law as his major! (in one reputable univ.) hahaaaa. It was a nice ride home H!

i present you Mr. Hxxxxxx

he hide his face for safety reason, but you can search him on my facebook. hahaha.

'My Favorites' award...

These are my favorite, things/person that i fond of. They made my day and made my happy. so, i made this award out of randomness as a dedication for them, which i am so grateful that they exist and make ma life more colorful....muach!.

1. My favorite tiny little human being goes too..

my niece : Lunaya Darsono

She ate kripik sukun! as round as her face! haha!

2. My Favorite guy ever, goes to.....jreng! jreng!jreng!

The man with a map! heheee

3. My favorite seafood goes to...

Mr Crab! along with saus padang dressing! yummm!

yep, those are my first three, cz i was like having lots of things that i like..rain drops, lollipops, my dad's laugh, coffee smellss...etc..what about you guys? what is your favorites three????

Our government is No 'one man show'.

Today is exactly the 100th day of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono governmental works. Demonstration and protest occurred in some area, mostly showed their opposition toward the government and considered that the government has failed in doing its job. Some issues arise, from 1. the unclear ending of century case, 2. The commercialization of KPK, 3. The Tax Mafia case, 4. The Dispute over the border with Malaysia, and last 5. The case with MA. The thing that i want to highlighted here is, how some people are able to decide such a complex system, government, as failed and blame it on one person?.

Let see this problem carefully. Do you know how many departments are in our governmental system?. There are education department, social department, financial department, Judicial department, House of representatives, etc. The list will continues if we want to name it one by one.

Those list means that our government is rather a grandeur concept with complex system of works. They recognize the equally complex problem we had, from poverty, crimes, corruption etc. Thus they made that divisional arrangements to make the resolving process to stay in focus. one department with one specific issue.

I suppose, if we want to see comprehensively, then what so called as the governmental success is also under the responsibility of those departments and people in it. If they did a poor job, of course it will create a bad impression for the society who see that as a failure. it means that, the failure is not come from a single person but rather from a group of people in it. Governmental works is not a one man show. It took a collective efforts to work. The efforts from every single person who gain the trust of our people to sit on the parliament (who came from different political party with different political interest) or posses any governmental position.

I do believe it is true that the president is a person who has an utmost authority to make decision. He is responsible for most major issues that happen in our country. He is the person in charge. He posses the control. But he is not the only one to blame. Like i said before, our government are so complex and also fully planted with wide ranging political interests. each elite brought different ideas and propose different solutions. sometimes they get along with each other and sometimes they don't. When there are different ideas come to the president, i believe his mere good intention is not enough to create a solution that satisfy everyone. How hard he tried, there will be always unsatisfied party.

The friction of the internal political interest in our government sometimes too strong to handle, to dangerous to neglect and also too risky to be implemented. That is why sitting on the presidential chair is not an easy job. He have to listen different voices that whisper different ideas while trying hard to accommodate them all.Therefore, the failure of our government should be address to specific person/department who is responsible for. I understand the tendency to look for a scape goat, but, rather than blaming on one person or brief people, isn't it better to demand the whole people in our government to show some commitment and dedication?.

If it is stated that the government has failed, then what kind of parameter that you used to measure the degree of failure that you talked about? and if it is called as a failure, then what kind of accomplishment is viewed as a success? is there any, name it, one government in the world that become the example of success? a government that able to handle and resolve all its societal problems. Is it possible for the government to tackle all the problems this nation's has?. If talked about percentage, then how much is the percentage number for this government to be considered as success?. and what if, it is you that become the president? will you be able to do so?.answer it then think again.

The lady in waiting (for a damn clue about her future!)

Yep, thats me.

just want to make it sounds better by imagine my self as a lady in waiting. hehe. hope it's worth with the reality.
btw, lot things happens. sad, tiring, fun, annoying and so many more, but i am not in the mood yet to share.
It's 23:55 now and i cant sleep.
I feel tired but cant really sleep. My mind is busy wandering from one thought into another and it took a lot of effort to think.
I cant tell i am in a good place but i am really lookin forward for this weekend to come. Gonna meet my boyfriend and expect some good laugh or relaxing time.

a very realistic thought

Life: a very long event of learning process

We never realize how big the world is until learn about the globe.
We never realize how we different until we see others.

people and the society to be exact have this thing called as school. An institution, it is said, that taught us a lot of things about the world, or about people in it. A place that expected to flourish ideas and creativity and yet the very basic step to be recognized as ‘an educated person’. While years ago school is somewhat exclusive only to be enjoyed by limited people, upper class and person with authorities, it is now school has became widely open its chance for more average people. The problem is, the quality of schools are so varied, sometimes leave a huge gap between one another. Long story short, the open chances to get into school doesn’t necessarily along with the increase to get the best opportunity in society. As an example, if rich people are able to put their children in the best school with best facilities it means they armed their children with the most powerful weapon to be on the top of the game on societal hierarchy. In other hand, when good school mean an unbelievable number of money for the fee then it is most likely that children from average family can not afford it. From the very beginning, there is a clear discrepancy here that will also represent the discrepancy on their life when they grown up.
What I am saying is, the system which is offered through school is no longer applicable for things we called as justice and equality in terms of economical opportunity. It is easily tricked with amount of money and it is could be impairing our so ideal dream about having the equal chances and equal opportunity to be part of the ‘high class’ group in the society. Being success is possible, into some measured distance. The fact is, it is mostly impossible due to the rules of pyramid population law.
Realize it or not, this world will never give its most fair chances to bunch of poor children with high hopes. This world even will never come at peace. Since the first day we born we’ve been cheated by fate. Some of us get the best upbringing with very strong link into a so-called as promising future while another get stuck with, let say, not so proper parents, or very poor environment. It is fate and it is how it works. The balance of the world is not the ideal images that we try (hard) to reach. The nature has its own rules. The balance of the world is lay on the unbalance state of things that might be look unfair but complementing each other, rich-and-poor, ugly-and-beauty, war-and-peace…etc…
The question is, why us, human keep trying to get into that ideal even tough we knew it is almost impossible to even happen?

The increase of tolerance in Indonesia: a scream from twitter!

Several days ago, there was a protest action from some group of people who banned and threat the event of Q film festival. A film festival about gay and lesbian. They did the protest in a peaceful way with no offensive physical action. (see the info here)
I recognize that they wore their UI yellow jacket as their identity. lets put aside their action in doing so, because what i'm going to highlight here is the great concern from other UI students that see this action as a misuse of the yellow jacket identity because most of UI students, it appears, didn't fully agree with the protest it self.
They flooded the twitter with bitter reaction on how small parts of UI students dare to use the yellow jacket to represent their protest. I my self, reckon that the protest doesn't represent the majority voice of UI students, that actually open minded enough to response the festival with neutral acceptance. Those small part of protesters are students who retaliate with religion-base organization in UI. They are known for their active opposition toward some of government policy and Islam-related activities. But again, we have to remember that UI students come from various area religions and ethnicity. Thus, we should also realize the very varied point of view and stance that UI students have.
That is why, i suggest, if some part of UI students about to do a protest or whatever, try hard to bring the tag of which specific organization they are actually represent. In other hand, those twitter rage about the protest action are somehow could be a sign of how progressive is the open minded thinking and point of view that we had today.
I see that, in today's world, there is no need in doing such action since it's creating more instability rather than stability, in terms of inter-faith relation. In other hand, i also questioning the base judgment of those protesters in doing their action, since, we can not banned something that actually out of our authorities. we have the police if it seems that the festival is violate the law. Isn't it will be easier fro them to report and bring their concern to the police? the real party with authority?. And, if they don't agree that such movies to be played in Indonesia, why don't they just NOT watch it?. well, okay they also can suggest their friends not to watch it anyway. see? it is simple but practical. I my self, i am not pro gay and lesbian, but i prefer to respect them as human being. I understand that the Q film festival is an effort to increase the awareness toward the existence of gay and lesbian. The increase of awareness itself doesn't necessarily mean supporting the increase of gay and lesbian numbers in Indonesia. It is more into an effort to make the society consider gay and lesbian as human being with expectation that this understanding will ( at least) reduce the discrimination, bullying and unfair action toward gay and lesbian. Well, since i am not a pro, then I will simply avoid watching those movies and tell my sisters, family, boy friend, etc not to watch that either.

If, let say, they (UI students) did their action based on their devotion to their religion, Islam, then why don't they do it in a more manner?. I am a Muslim and I am fed up with all stupid actions that only worsen the name of Islam in the world eye. if we don't agree with something, trust me, there will always more polite way to show our disagreement. Protest, violence or anarchy are never the answer!. Those are non-peaceful conducts and clearly a far than good PR strategy. If, we want to make people respect and love Islam then we have to show them the mercy, tolerance and kindness just like our Prophet did throughout his life. Don't you think that our beloved Islam has enough bad publicity by tons of media around the world?. And do you think that kind of news make Islam become more acceptable and seen as something positive? Hell NO!.
The world is in a rapid change into the pole of positive values such as human rights and equality. We see, learn and observe how the world become more open into some essential issues. Don't we learn that being a good person means react and response toward challenges of daily issues with assertiveness?. Aren't we smart enough to start thinking how to build a strategy to rehabilitate Islam's name in the eye of billions of people around the world? when will we realize that violence, anarchy, terrorism, threat etc are detrimental for inter-faith relationship? it is time to show that Islam is a peaceful religion. we valued noble kindness, we were taught to live in peace with others.
And, for others who shows a wiser response toward such issues. I salute you!. I know that you are kind of people who are open your self to the exposure of Internet.Haha. We know that bunch of news and stories about wide ranging issues that took place around the world need to be handle gently with more responsible approach. wisdom. We learn, from the worst war, conflict and disputes that happened around the world that violence and anarchy are never the solution!. We see some people are being the worst human being and hurt us at some point, but, we don't let our self to act the same or show the same attitude. we know that our brotherhood and sisterhood (in religion, ethnicity, etc) sense are being tormented so hard by some irresponsible and cruel, people, but we learn to be patience and strengthen our faith.
we sharply absorb the humane values that progressively develop in our world. we know how to properly react and response toward differences, by embracing it, NOT condemn it!. And i believe our small tiny voices in twitter, facebook or blog are the sign of the awaken of tolerance in Indonesia. So, keep open mind, be comprehensive, careful and wise!.

Sit back and Relax

okay, yesterday was my first 'professional' psychological test for job purpose and i kinda blow it. well, blow it in terms of 'somehow i failed'. because, actually, it was pretty fun when i do the test. it was more like playing games rather than doing a test. And i did my best.
But again, we will never know why the result end up like that..hehe..whatever, i think the process to get there ( get on the bus at 5 in d morning) and do the test without having breakfast finally took it tolls. i was home all tired and exhausted.
,I need a lot of sleep to gain my strength back. Even more time to think that failure is a part of learning process. well, i am one of those people who think that failure cant hold us back. it was not an event of proving the world or anybody else. so, i see failure as something worth to try and insightful. but still, there is a teeny weeny bit of upset feeling. and it took time to stop ur brain and emotion from the gloomy effect. And here i am, trying to sit back and relax, reduce the self-made burden that hangin' on my mind. I am in a process of getting my self back into positivity. energy. power!. I know i will make it. i know i will end up or find something the best. something that worth thousands times from what i've been trough. cherrios!! :D

Finally..

After reconsidering everything and felt the urge to fix my hair. Haha. I did another hair cut yesterday. The weird thing was, my friends Rara, Puput and my Boyfriend were accompany me to the salon and show their support. With those 3 people around me while getting my hair cut, I felt like giving labor or something.Haha.Ps: the hair stylist also looked intimidated and under pressure. they were watching carefully.haha.

before

chop!chop!chop! (my bf took this picture n made me embarrassed enough,haha)

And..

Tadaaa..it is a short Bob cut, My fav. style :D

And i feel much more comfortable with this hair. More like me in thousands way! :D.Hope you guys like it...