Rabu, 27 Oktober 2010

Happy Birthday boy...

October 26, 2010: 03.00 Pm.
It was raining hard and windy.
I wore my blue jeans dress and put on my purple shoes.
I bought a tiny Tiramisu cake and took last year candle from my small box.
It was cold and breezy. I soaked and got wet.
but i enjoyed it. I felt happy and excited.

October 26, 2010: 4.55 Pm.
I'm arrived. Made a call and got a cold answer on the phone.
someone get confused.
I waited and didn't find a glimpse of smile.
Small tiny feel of sadness and that's all.


Conclusion:
I think the surprise didnt run well since that was still 26th oct and he didnt expect me to come and most of all he didnt think it was the right time to give a surprise..way too early i guess. He just finished his work and look tired.
I felt that my too-early-surprise ruined the whole mood, he was tired btw. So, yeah. Whatever. I did my best.
Even tough this birthday wasn't so special i would like to say:

"Happy birthday sayang, wish you all the best in life : a good laugh and wonderful days.
I
hope you grown up a gentle man and not carried away too much with your work. Don't forget to eat healthy and always listen to your heart. I've been with you for this past four years and mostly i feel happy. You add colors into my life and taught me a lot. I hope we both could grow together, become person that complete each other. I know good days are not always happen, and we should deal with bad days somehow. I wish we will survive the bad time and enjoy the good time. less sad eyes and more smiles."

-with love-

A dialogue

God

Thank you for reminding me

how i should stay believing

strengthen my faith

God

I have this little dream

That i pray deep inside my heart

I know you know that

please let me have it

and keep it as one of your wonderful gift


I love you God.

Senin, 25 Oktober 2010

Me These days

I used to be quite an out going person. I love to know someone new and easily get close with people. I used to.

I dont really know what's goin on with me, but lately, every time I'm in a new environment or meet with new people, all i want to do is to seclude my self and set silent.

I avoid starting any conversation and reluctantly introduce my self to others, only when it needed for.

I guess I enjoy my loneliness too much I don't want anyone disturb me. I just want to be alone, even in a room full with people. I prefer to get busy with my own mind.

I talked less, I smile less, I become a very quiet person that i used to hate. haha.

Jumat, 22 Oktober 2010

This guy is Krahzeee!!


Did i tell you that i've been doing this good girl role for the whole of my life? i don't smoke, drink, left alone do drugs! I just dont!..hee. But recently, i encounter this person, when i did one test for job related purpose. He was in one FGD with me and basically we were quite upset with the FGD conclusion. We fastly became friend and he is simply nice person to talk with. well, long story short, he offer me a very helping help to drop me on the bus stop (which was quite complicated to reach)....

well, since his help was very helpful and it make my journey back home easier so i took it. I didnt really familiar with the area anyway. So, before i jumped on his motorcycle i asked whether it is okay to take me along because i didn't wear a helmet. he did say it is fine. I don't really know the meaning of his 'fine' until then...

we left the test building quite a while ago and now about to turn right to the opposite direction of the road. There were a traffic jam. Lots of cars and motorcycles and any other things crowd the road. I was enjoying my view, the crowd street. Suddenly, he made the most unpredictable, fast and dangerous maneuver ever!!! This happen so fast!. There was a police man standing in front of us, he wave his hand ask us to stop. A second later this friend of mine speed up his motorcycle toward the police, stop an inch in front of the police, the police almost got me, and then in half a second he turn right while the police man's hand about to catch me!!he speed again, pull his brake! stop in front of a mid-size Pick up truck! for two seconds! and speeded again in the middle of the very jammed traffic until it is impossible to get caught!!! Wtf!!!. I Laughed all the way to the bus stop!

That was the most adrenaline pumping experience i've ever been! not only i broke the law (oops) i also confront the policeman by involving my self in that very risky run-away- strategy! Holy Sh**! haha. The funny thing is this guy took Law as his major! (in one reputable univ.) hahaaaa. It was a nice ride home H!

i present you Mr. Hxxxxxx

he hide his face for safety reason, but you can search him on my facebook. hahaha.

Rabu, 20 Oktober 2010

'My Favorites' award...

These are my favorite, things/person that i fond of. They made my day and made my happy. so, i made this award out of randomness as a dedication for them, which i am so grateful that they exist and make ma life more colorful....muach!.

1. My favorite tiny little human being goes too..

my niece : Lunaya Darsono

She ate kripik sukun! as round as her face! haha!

2. My Favorite guy ever, goes to.....jreng! jreng!jreng!

The man with a map! heheee

3. My favorite seafood goes to...

Mr Crab! along with saus padang dressing! yummm!

yep, those are my first three, cz i was like having lots of things that i like..rain drops, lollipops, my dad's laugh, coffee smellss...etc..what about you guys? what is your favorites three????

Our government is No 'one man show'.

Today is exactly the 100th day of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono governmental works. Demonstration and protest occurred in some area, mostly showed their opposition toward the government and considered that the government has failed in doing its job. Some issues arise, from 1. the unclear ending of century case, 2. The commercialization of KPK, 3. The Tax Mafia case, 4. The Dispute over the border with Malaysia, and last 5. The case with MA. The thing that i want to highlighted here is, how some people are able to decide such a complex system, government, as failed and blame it on one person?.

Let see this problem carefully. Do you know how many departments are in our governmental system?. There are education department, social department, financial department, Judicial department, House of representatives, etc. The list will continues if we want to name it one by one.

Those list means that our government is rather a grandeur concept with complex system of works. They recognize the equally complex problem we had, from poverty, crimes, corruption etc. Thus they made that divisional arrangements to make the resolving process to stay in focus. one department with one specific issue.

I suppose, if we want to see comprehensively, then what so called as the governmental success is also under the responsibility of those departments and people in it. If they did a poor job, of course it will create a bad impression for the society who see that as a failure. it means that, the failure is not come from a single person but rather from a group of people in it. Governmental works is not a one man show. It took a collective efforts to work. The efforts from every single person who gain the trust of our people to sit on the parliament (who came from different political party with different political interest) or posses any governmental position.

I do believe it is true that the president is a person who has an utmost authority to make decision. He is responsible for most major issues that happen in our country. He is the person in charge. He posses the control. But he is not the only one to blame. Like i said before, our government are so complex and also fully planted with wide ranging political interests. each elite brought different ideas and propose different solutions. sometimes they get along with each other and sometimes they don't. When there are different ideas come to the president, i believe his mere good intention is not enough to create a solution that satisfy everyone. How hard he tried, there will be always unsatisfied party.

The friction of the internal political interest in our government sometimes too strong to handle, to dangerous to neglect and also too risky to be implemented. That is why sitting on the presidential chair is not an easy job. He have to listen different voices that whisper different ideas while trying hard to accommodate them all.Therefore, the failure of our government should be address to specific person/department who is responsible for. I understand the tendency to look for a scape goat, but, rather than blaming on one person or brief people, isn't it better to demand the whole people in our government to show some commitment and dedication?.

If it is stated that the government has failed, then what kind of parameter that you used to measure the degree of failure that you talked about? and if it is called as a failure, then what kind of accomplishment is viewed as a success? is there any, name it, one government in the world that become the example of success? a government that able to handle and resolve all its societal problems. Is it possible for the government to tackle all the problems this nation's has?. If talked about percentage, then how much is the percentage number for this government to be considered as success?. and what if, it is you that become the president? will you be able to do so?.answer it then think again.

Selasa, 19 Oktober 2010

The lady in waiting (for a damn clue about her future!)

Yep, thats me.

just want to make it sounds better by imagine my self as a lady in waiting. hehe. hope it's worth with the reality.
btw, lot things happens. sad, tiring, fun, annoying and so many more, but i am not in the mood yet to share.
It's 23:55 now and i cant sleep.
I feel tired but cant really sleep. My mind is busy wandering from one thought into another and it took a lot of effort to think.
I cant tell i am in a good place but i am really lookin forward for this weekend to come. Gonna meet my boyfriend and expect some good laugh or relaxing time.

Jumat, 08 Oktober 2010

a very realistic thought

Life: a very long event of learning process

We never realize how big the world is until learn about the globe.
We never realize how we different until we see others.

people and the society to be exact have this thing called as school. An institution, it is said, that taught us a lot of things about the world, or about people in it. A place that expected to flourish ideas and creativity and yet the very basic step to be recognized as ‘an educated person’. While years ago school is somewhat exclusive only to be enjoyed by limited people, upper class and person with authorities, it is now school has became widely open its chance for more average people. The problem is, the quality of schools are so varied, sometimes leave a huge gap between one another. Long story short, the open chances to get into school doesn’t necessarily along with the increase to get the best opportunity in society. As an example, if rich people are able to put their children in the best school with best facilities it means they armed their children with the most powerful weapon to be on the top of the game on societal hierarchy. In other hand, when good school mean an unbelievable number of money for the fee then it is most likely that children from average family can not afford it. From the very beginning, there is a clear discrepancy here that will also represent the discrepancy on their life when they grown up.
What I am saying is, the system which is offered through school is no longer applicable for things we called as justice and equality in terms of economical opportunity. It is easily tricked with amount of money and it is could be impairing our so ideal dream about having the equal chances and equal opportunity to be part of the ‘high class’ group in the society. Being success is possible, into some measured distance. The fact is, it is mostly impossible due to the rules of pyramid population law.
Realize it or not, this world will never give its most fair chances to bunch of poor children with high hopes. This world even will never come at peace. Since the first day we born we’ve been cheated by fate. Some of us get the best upbringing with very strong link into a so-called as promising future while another get stuck with, let say, not so proper parents, or very poor environment. It is fate and it is how it works. The balance of the world is not the ideal images that we try (hard) to reach. The nature has its own rules. The balance of the world is lay on the unbalance state of things that might be look unfair but complementing each other, rich-and-poor, ugly-and-beauty, war-and-peace…etc…
The question is, why us, human keep trying to get into that ideal even tough we knew it is almost impossible to even happen?

Jumat, 01 Oktober 2010

The increase of tolerance in Indonesia: a scream from twitter!


Several days ago, there was a protest action from some group of people who banned and threat the event of Q film festival. A film festival about gay and lesbian. They did the protest in a peaceful way with no offensive physical action. (see the info here)
I recognize that they wore their UI yellow jacket as their identity. lets put aside their action in doing so, because what i'm going to highlight here is the great concern from other UI students that see this action as a misuse of the yellow jacket identity because most of UI students, it appears, didn't fully agree with the protest it self.
They flooded the twitter with bitter reaction on how small parts of UI students dare to use the yellow jacket to represent their protest. I my self, reckon that the protest doesn't represent the majority voice of UI students, that actually open minded enough to response the festival with neutral acceptance. Those small part of protesters are students who retaliate with religion-base organization in UI. They are known for their active opposition toward some of government policy and Islam-related activities. But again, we have to remember that UI students come from various area religions and ethnicity. Thus, we should also realize the very varied point of view and stance that UI students have.
That is why, i suggest, if some part of UI students about to do a protest or whatever, try hard to bring the tag of which specific organization they are actually represent. In other hand, those twitter rage about the protest action are somehow could be a sign of how progressive is the open minded thinking and point of view that we had today.
I see that, in today's world, there is no need in doing such action since it's creating more instability rather than stability, in terms of inter-faith relation. In other hand, i also questioning the base judgment of those protesters in doing their action, since, we can not banned something that actually out of our authorities. we have the police if it seems that the festival is violate the law. Isn't it will be easier fro them to report and bring their concern to the police? the real party with authority?. And, if they don't agree that such movies to be played in Indonesia, why don't they just NOT watch it?. well, okay they also can suggest their friends not to watch it anyway. see? it is simple but practical. I my self, i am not pro gay and lesbian, but i prefer to respect them as human being. I understand that the Q film festival is an effort to increase the awareness toward the existence of gay and lesbian. The increase of awareness itself doesn't necessarily mean supporting the increase of gay and lesbian numbers in Indonesia. It is more into an effort to make the society consider gay and lesbian as human being with expectation that this understanding will ( at least) reduce the discrimination, bullying and unfair action toward gay and lesbian. Well, since i am not a pro, then I will simply avoid watching those movies and tell my sisters, family, boy friend, etc not to watch that either.

If, let say, they (UI students) did their action based on their devotion to their religion, Islam, then why don't they do it in a more manner?. I am a Muslim and I am fed up with all stupid actions that only worsen the name of Islam in the world eye. if we don't agree with something, trust me, there will always more polite way to show our disagreement. Protest, violence or anarchy are never the answer!. Those are non-peaceful conducts and clearly a far than good PR strategy. If, we want to make people respect and love Islam then we have to show them the mercy, tolerance and kindness just like our Prophet did throughout his life. Don't you think that our beloved Islam has enough bad publicity by tons of media around the world?. And do you think that kind of news make Islam become more acceptable and seen as something positive? Hell NO!.
The world is in a rapid change into the pole of positive values such as human rights and equality. We see, learn and observe how the world become more open into some essential issues. Don't we learn that being a good person means react and response toward challenges of daily issues with assertiveness?. Aren't we smart enough to start thinking how to build a strategy to rehabilitate Islam's name in the eye of billions of people around the world? when will we realize that violence, anarchy, terrorism, threat etc are detrimental for inter-faith relationship? it is time to show that Islam is a peaceful religion. we valued noble kindness, we were taught to live in peace with others.
And, for others who shows a wiser response toward such issues. I salute you!. I know that you are kind of people who are open your self to the exposure of Internet.Haha. We know that bunch of news and stories about wide ranging issues that took place around the world need to be handle gently with more responsible approach. wisdom. We learn, from the worst war, conflict and disputes that happened around the world that violence and anarchy are never the solution!. We see some people are being the worst human being and hurt us at some point, but, we don't let our self to act the same or show the same attitude. we know that our brotherhood and sisterhood (in religion, ethnicity, etc) sense are being tormented so hard by some irresponsible and cruel, people, but we learn to be patience and strengthen our faith.
we sharply absorb the humane values that progressively develop in our world. we know how to properly react and response toward differences, by embracing it, NOT condemn it!. And i believe our small tiny voices in twitter, facebook or blog are the sign of the awaken of tolerance in Indonesia. So, keep open mind, be comprehensive, careful and wise!.