Literally, It is raining now. But the rain that I refer to was actually more psychological. The gloomy feeling that I feel. I cursed a lot today, the F word, the S word..multiple times. I think I still have some anger left and need it out, so yeah, I was acting pretty weird this day.
To make things even worse, I met a friend who asked me about job (I hate this topic lately), how long I've been jobless and how pathetic is to be company slaves. Burn. He really made my day. Put salt on my wound. EF. I really wish he know that I was very much like him, an idealist that avoiding end up working and supporting this capitalist world. BUT, fyi the reality will taught you a Lot. It is not so easy to keep your dream when the surroundings demand and offer different things. I just wish he put himself on my shoes before made any comment about my recent decision to work in a company that seek profits. I believe he will see that it is not easy, at all, to deal with the life after graduation. It is a serious time that asked us to make a serious decision. Keep your Ideal dream is a fine thing, but when there is an urgent need from your environment to do differently, then I suppose you should be what it is needed NOW.
To be honest, I believe that in near future I'll be the one who responsible for my sisters education. I'll be the one that will be the back bone of my family. SO, NOTE THIS...it is important for me to get a good job and earn money. seriously, I have my dream but I'm fully aware of whats important for my family's sake right now. Stop telling me that I'm too picky, because I was only try to get the best job I could have. You cant judge me, nor the situation I am In, without experiencing first what I truly feel. So, you better keep your mouth shut.
I hate bragging to much about my situation but I really wish people not make any comment on things that they dont really know. It is not easy to stand on your own feet, to lose balance while hold a burden on your shoulder. It is not easy to be me. I did and doing my best, simply hope that one day I'll be able to fulfill my responsibility. If you ask me whether I am afraid or not? well, Yes, Iam afraid. I fear of failure that gonna prolonged my dependency while I cant ask any support anymore. I fear of my future whether I'll be able to support my lil sisters or not. I fear that I cant reach my target. And the funny thing is, I'm worrying about my rented room for next month because I have not got any money..haha.
Whatevs, even in such difficult situation I'll always positive and optimistics. I believe god will help me out. He never gave an impossible task for us, I just wish god didnt trust me that much. So, here I am keep telling my self about how happy life is actually. Yeah, Im working on that, changing this sad mood into something better. still learn to forgive and try to see the sunshine that will come, after this darkness.
-we always burdened by trouble that we thought as impossible but at the end it will passed somehow- (irsa, 2010)
To make things even worse, I met a friend who asked me about job (I hate this topic lately), how long I've been jobless and how pathetic is to be company slaves. Burn. He really made my day. Put salt on my wound. EF. I really wish he know that I was very much like him, an idealist that avoiding end up working and supporting this capitalist world. BUT, fyi the reality will taught you a Lot. It is not so easy to keep your dream when the surroundings demand and offer different things. I just wish he put himself on my shoes before made any comment about my recent decision to work in a company that seek profits. I believe he will see that it is not easy, at all, to deal with the life after graduation. It is a serious time that asked us to make a serious decision. Keep your Ideal dream is a fine thing, but when there is an urgent need from your environment to do differently, then I suppose you should be what it is needed NOW.
To be honest, I believe that in near future I'll be the one who responsible for my sisters education. I'll be the one that will be the back bone of my family. SO, NOTE THIS...it is important for me to get a good job and earn money. seriously, I have my dream but I'm fully aware of whats important for my family's sake right now. Stop telling me that I'm too picky, because I was only try to get the best job I could have. You cant judge me, nor the situation I am In, without experiencing first what I truly feel. So, you better keep your mouth shut.
I hate bragging to much about my situation but I really wish people not make any comment on things that they dont really know. It is not easy to stand on your own feet, to lose balance while hold a burden on your shoulder. It is not easy to be me. I did and doing my best, simply hope that one day I'll be able to fulfill my responsibility. If you ask me whether I am afraid or not? well, Yes, Iam afraid. I fear of failure that gonna prolonged my dependency while I cant ask any support anymore. I fear of my future whether I'll be able to support my lil sisters or not. I fear that I cant reach my target. And the funny thing is, I'm worrying about my rented room for next month because I have not got any money..haha.
Whatevs, even in such difficult situation I'll always positive and optimistics. I believe god will help me out. He never gave an impossible task for us, I just wish god didnt trust me that much. So, here I am keep telling my self about how happy life is actually. Yeah, Im working on that, changing this sad mood into something better. still learn to forgive and try to see the sunshine that will come, after this darkness.
-we always burdened by trouble that we thought as impossible but at the end it will passed somehow- (irsa, 2010)
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