Responsibilities..

I always know that each of us have our own responsibility in this life. A father to provide his family, a mother to pour love and care, a sister to take care of her younger sister, etc. It is a rule of life, something that bond to our fate as a human. when we were given a role in this life, responsibility follow.

I my self always feel that I have some sort of responsibility toward other people in my life. My lil sisters especially. They are looked like small little things that I should protect carefully, I've been hurt in the past and I dont want them to experience the same pain. I want to create a super safe and beautiful world for them.

Several days ago, I've been into the worst place ever. Even darker than my 'Thesis madness' period. yesterday was a huge dissappoinment and sorrow. I lost my place to hold on, so does people around me. We were in Chaos..actually it still happen until today. There is a wound, a deep and bleeding cut. But as the time goes, there is person who put salt on it..all the time. The pain is unbearable...for me..for people I love.

Our heart shattered. broken into pieces. we tried to forgive...but the situation get worse, turn into something that cant be tolerate anymore...I am in a point where I'm ready to let go...

But by letting go means a bigger responsibility for me. I should do this and that, make sure everything well protected and fine...Its tough, but I am the most fit person to be depended on, so this is my job..and I am more than willing to do ANYTHING for people I love most. for my family.

I just thankful that I am an androgyny, I could do both feminine and masculine task. I am able to do anything needed. I'm tough. I am strong. I'll work my ass so hard I'll do anything for my family. Now my concern is my family..My mom, my lil sisters, my elder sister and my niece...they're the center of my life and my life is making them happy..

I always this stubborn and strong willed. Those make me feel that I am ready in doing this new responsibility. I should put aside my pain and think the other way around, I should stop crying, and start smiling for my family. I'm glad that I'm actually an independent person. changing lamp, buying Gallon water or fix the electricity is no big deal to me!!!!