i fear of being loser
i fear of being left behind
i fear of losing something/someone precious to me
after put aside all other things, lets talk about love.you know that i love my bf so much?so much i cud die?.
yeah, right. i recognize the tendency for me to love him more and more, each minute and each second. he is so sweet and so nice i cant help my self to not fall in love with him.every day.But, along with the increase of that feeling, i also recognize the increase of fear of losing him. the increase of fear that i might get hurt.the fear that he might hurt me, deliberately or not. the more i love him, the more insecure i become. and it make me sad. to be very fragile and dependent. to be very sensitive and prone to pain. i cant take it, the jealousy, the thirst to always feel loved. the fear of not loved by him that sometime haunt my mind. aarrghh.
see, that how love did to me...make me become uber worried fragile b****!i dont wanna that. i dont want to feel threaten. i want to use my logic back. i am too coward to trust my heart. i am too afraid to the possibility of get hurt. it is not i dont trust him. it is more into me. what i feel. what i fear of. what i want to become. i want to stay awake and sober and use my brain function normally even when it comes to love. i want to be tough and cool. not weak and fragile. as if love has no side effect like this.
i fear of being left behind
i fear of losing something/someone precious to me
after put aside all other things, lets talk about love.you know that i love my bf so much?so much i cud die?.
yeah, right. i recognize the tendency for me to love him more and more, each minute and each second. he is so sweet and so nice i cant help my self to not fall in love with him.every day.But, along with the increase of that feeling, i also recognize the increase of fear of losing him. the increase of fear that i might get hurt.the fear that he might hurt me, deliberately or not. the more i love him, the more insecure i become. and it make me sad. to be very fragile and dependent. to be very sensitive and prone to pain. i cant take it, the jealousy, the thirst to always feel loved. the fear of not loved by him that sometime haunt my mind. aarrghh.
see, that how love did to me...make me become uber worried fragile b****!i dont wanna that. i dont want to feel threaten. i want to use my logic back. i am too coward to trust my heart. i am too afraid to the possibility of get hurt. it is not i dont trust him. it is more into me. what i feel. what i fear of. what i want to become. i want to stay awake and sober and use my brain function normally even when it comes to love. i want to be tough and cool. not weak and fragile. as if love has no side effect like this.
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