He..he..he

inspiration could come from many ways, unexpected people and unpredictable event.
I just read this cool story about aspiring scientist from Indonesia, one of very few people holding Phd in physics higher energy, which also coincidentally having relationship with my best friend.

I read his interview in one newspaper and I thought, damn, this guy so lucky to have such courage. courage to 'throw himself in unknown' and enjoy the ongoing curiosity with equally heavy challenges and complication in a realm called as science.

then I look into my self. it makes me feel 'he..he..he'.

he he he..I am way too chicken to just jump into thing I really want. face the unpredictable quest. too spoilt to leave this comfort zone and too shy I didn't put much confident in my self (sometimes). plus, too reluctant in taking challenges.

half of me believe that the posibility dream is pretty much in our faith. but then half of me is in doubt I create barrier in my self (self-handicapping?) to event think 'I might'.

and he..he..he I looked back and realize, how little I did. How weak is  my determination. fiuh.
But, I believe it is a process of growing up. process of me looking for what I want. As if I could know, the fix variable that determine our fate, is it our will or some other external events that simply out of reach?.

thinking deep and hard , lols!