Eyes wide open

Working expose me with experience that into some extent develop me. I learn again. It is like a new world that open itself to me. the dynamic, the type of tasks, challenges, etc.I used to think that work-related-task will be more complicated and demanding than this, but it appears it is more matters of our ability to strecth our capacity in doing multiple things. my job load is progressing and ofcourse it is not getting easier. I travel places, meet people,eat new foods, breathe stranger place's air, get confuse and feel challenged.

Btw, one well-known career person said that fresh grad should take their time to recognize what they really want. well, I am not fully agree of that, some time get a job asap it self is a process of us  in finding what really want. perhaps we will come into consideration that we actually dont want the job or we want for something else. but, thats the process. sometimes. that is the way how we will finally recognize our self.

as for me, as I told before, I love this job, it has it perks and Im glad I dont have much to complain. I really wish I could perform well and give something for this company. I know I might not be long here therefore I'll enjoy my moment.  :)

Long story short

This past 8 months my life been changing a lot. I learn so much I believe those experiences even more expensive than my school's tuition.Haha. Anyway, I'm very glad and grateful for what I have and I am doing now. Life is a journey, with its ups and downs, but I believe we are tough climbers.

Btw, this October 10th is my sister B'day. Happy birth day dear sister, I love you so much, and I actually worried about you.haha. You are too kind and too sweet and too nice. Hopefully, you will get your best and your greatest happiness in life. May God always protect u dear girl (last pic of this post).

Dilemma

IT is not easy being modern woman. they fight hard for school, get a brilliant career and raise a family. unfortunately, women from the 70's  realize that they cant have it all. divorce number among career woman is not low and juggling between career and family is not always possible.  one must have less quality or even worse, be sacrificed. So, the new challenge for woman these days is no longer equality, education access, or affirmative action on social opportunity. rather, the real challenge is to CHOOSE.

either high profile career or healthy family?.


too bad, it is not an easy question. life style sometimes demand woman to be involved to contribute in family earning. but, you see my point right?. woman have all options and opportunity in front of their eyes, but today they simply have to choose, what is real matter to them. a super hard decision it might.

I believe we're all more clever these days. be truthful to our self and dare to choose whatever it is. for me, I plan to put my family above all, in terms of quality and perfection. :)

Women these days

it is said that woman these day are havily exploited. sexually. women become the point of attraction in every magazine. the trend is, bare more skin and pose provocatilvely. do you think it is a sign of women empowerment or it is actually the very sign of exploitation?. Those 'sexy' images of celebrities, do guys see them with respect and admiration or rather with lust and exciting desires?. do  we woman, really want to be seen as an object of man's gratification?. we might nod our head, but the real answer is YES.

More celebrities go for nude pose on magazine. they see posing nude as a new height of achievement, a positive career repertoa, and as something that descirbed as 'brave'. Yet in the other hands, those images and attitude force our young girls to be..umm..well..long for such idea. becoming a vixen. Problem is, the number of anorexia is increasing, the concern towards body image is undeniably heavy among teen. everything now circulate around how pretty they look, how sexy they could be and how much skin they could reveal.

I my self see this as huge step back for woman. To be heavily define as sexual object. It is fine if then people who sees this trend as an act of liberation which we've  been so restricted these hundred years. BUT, it just awful if it creates a stupid thought among man where woman seen as a mere body and face they could play with.

why dont we care more on what's real? boost our womanhood through real achievement such as having great career, raise clever children, educate people around, write some cool research, etc. It is time to see carefully how far feminism movement allow us to do great things. Things looks like liberating the rights of woman, but only those that exploring woman as an object.

Vogue magz cover: courtesy : googlepics

cosmopolitan magz cover

mostly are about boobs, boobs and boobs. plain foolish.



Gratitude

It is often that we forget how much we have, thousands of bless in disguise. I shall confess, I have a lot of reasons to be grateful. I see a lot aspect in my life has changed into what i've expected before. well, not all of them are good things, some even very tough I broke tears quite often. but again I believe Allah wont give me things that beyond my capacity to handle.

One thing about last lebaran was I feel like a grown up. I used to get angpao from elder relatives but now it was my turn to give. I was excited but never knew that financial arrangement could be a shocking turn out in Lebaran. Haha. I should really start saving money for the months ahead. Especially because I have a big plan next year, I should really keep my budget tight. very tight. hehe.

anyway, the more I grown up, the more i realize how amazing my mother is. among all those things, she managed to keep everything run well, handle this and that. She is my angel, my guardian angel.

therefore, I have no reason not to be grateful, right?

I want to Explode

yep, I almost explode.

not because a bundle of Joy

but because my mind trick me into some kind of very depressing reasoning in handling a problem.

I know, I know I shall chillax...

It appears I am more a-submissive- person than I thought.

damn!.

Life oh Life

Today is quite tiring to me. I spend a lot of energy.
surprise is, something that I've let go is coming back, changing the dynamic of my plan.
while everything shall be adress in such tight timing.

a night to decide such big decision, with as big as mysterious possibility. possibility of huge loss and big winning.
rawrh!!!! .

I am tired, and clueless, and agitated.