Gender neutral

Read an article about parent who give their child a freedom to wear girl and boy clothes in the hope to raise the child in gender-neutral environment. my question is, is there any?. the construction of gender been exist for so long it root in our social environment, almost become something that undeniably important. why? because we live and breath those construct every day, it have a big impact on who we are. If, the stereotype of gender considered as something that bring negative impact, than lets make a change. gender is not a fix definition, we have room for positive changes throughout the era. don't see it as something that restricting, rather, see it as a way of liberating. That is why the amazing story of women movement are exist, because they make a change. reconstruct the very mean of gender it self.

Allowing children to wear any color they want. to let them choose any toys they interested in. to give them the idea of being whatever they want.

One step further

Alhamdulillah, after 12 months of learning, finally I finished my MT program, graduate with satisfying remark (huehehehe). I still have room for improvement though, endurance and consistency. Get bored easily and fluctuating in terms of performance. But, over all  I done my part fine.

My next job will be even more complicated and tough, rawr! Kinda feel like escaping from lion's mouth and get into dinosaurs jaw!. Since this dinosaurs jaw might taught me a lot, I hope I can out my best and give significant impact on what I am doing. In the mean time, well I should check this bunch of data and email...

see you guys soon....xoxo  :)

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memento

It feels like you took away one of the (supposedly) very best moment in my life. Create a hole in my heart. Try to forget, try to move on. But every time I look around, heart suddenly feel weak, it's breaking. Well, It is not easy to face thing that I didn't see it coming. But, I am trying.

Anyway, If I look far back, I actually have one I will remember forever in my life. A beautiful night when even the rain drops were beaming. the only night I felt so whimsical. Talked like silly, stupid giggling and burst of laugh. Pure and naive. I'll hold onto that memory forever since it was the best ever happen to me. He. He was the best thing ever come into my heart. none beat it. just him. 23rd nov.

:)

quick up date

Lately, work went crazy.

I develop worrying habit : left the office at 21.00 Pm everyday. I believe in hard work, but I am afraid this work hour routine will do me no good in the future. Well, hopefully, after next two weeks (which I predict will be  no room to breathe) everything run back to normal. normal meaning home by 17.00 Pm.

Btw, lately (perhaps due to exhaustion) I become very sensitive and easily explode. I find many thing as stressing and painful. So many time, I just want to escape and run and free my self from this plan. I think all i need is the strong support and affection from people around me so that I can survive this. At this point, I even not sure about everything. but once you step your foot in a home it isn't easy to just step back and withdrawn.

Lesson is, it takes a solid communication to make things work. otherwise, it will be another flying saucer competition in the house.haha. funny thing is, I will go into an institution that ( Iam afraid) I don't fully believe. I dont have any jovial example of how this institution gives true happiness for anyone in it. all I have are the dysfunctional almost crazy one. so, yeah. idk. I simple want it good, and will try my best to have a good one.

The Old tradition

I wasnt aware of the old tradition in my own family, it's been hold for generation but..I just didnt know. Now, my relatives are questioning me this and that, they seem upset I did thing carelessly without careful considerations and proper discussion with the big family. Now, I feel like I did something bad.

:(

I thought I wont be so trapped in this 'old' perception of how things work, but, my idea of simplicity seems fail to satisfy my big family expectation. they expect more than me. well, I never thought it will be this serious, that everything should be done based on old wisdom and my movement was perceived as inappropriate and not respectful. pfiiuh.

Weird guy

I have someone at the office who made weird and very not funny joke it almost annoying. He seems like lost an important brain part that made the definition of 'joke'. I'm not being mean, I am being kind to explain. haha. What he did that he might think as something funny is actually a thing that make other people, especially me, get annoyed. so, yeah..welcome to the mysterious way of how brain is working.

joke is:

Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

The fun mall strolling

Last weekend I was in a challenging journey to find the fine and pretty batik for attending my friend wedding. I went to Thamrin city with Acit and Titi, two mates from office who are having a crazy craving over batik. I plan to just window shopping or pick one that I really love. Acit decided to bought four batik with mostly vibrant colors while Titi bought two with more tone down colors and I choose one nude almost peach Kain.

Thamrin city is the heaven for any shopper because this is truly a huge one stop shopping mall where we can find almost everything with proper price. Besides, we still can get the excitement of bargaining the price which usually reduced into 5-10%. How awesome is that?.

so, the next day, I went there again with my boyfriend, we were in the quest to find sarimbit batik ( couple batik ) for our Kondangan (attending wedding) routine . Before search for the batik, we went to the food court and I found this look-like Japanese slash Korean stall who sells ramen and sushi. I ordered Combo package which consist of jyouku ramen + kimchi + kimbap + ocha for only 3.5 USD. Taste really yum the hot and spicy sensation blend perfectly in the beef broth and it melted in my mouth. And it was very cheap, compare to the similar ramen + kimchi + ocha in Urban kitchen which cost me 9USD.

anyway, after hop from one store into another, me and my boyfriend pick this calm green sarimbit to bring home. I really love its bright and outstanding color (compare to other mostly brown color batik) , I cant wait to bring it to my mom's tailor and wear it soon. yay. yay.

the fire dragon

Based on Chinese calendar, this year will be the year of dragon. My sign is dragon, fire dragon. rawwr. So, Im feeling optimistic about this year. It might sound very superstitious but I just love to think that I'll rule this year. haha. I have quiet big plan this year, from my personal goal, career, and social life. A lot thing I should do, a lot thing to achieve. I want to call this year as the year when I finally must learn about discipline, commitment and persistence for my plan are so important I dont take any failure. 

what's important for me this year is, I want to free my self from daily worries and ongoing anxiety about life. I want to live happily like there's no bind  into my creativity. I want to be super versatile and translate burst of ideas into something real. No longer talking but start to walk the talk. Yep, that what this year about, real action in every aspect of my dream, hope, expectation. This year I should bring my ambition alive.