NYE 2011

Let's see the new year resolution I made and wrote in this blog in Dec 2010...

1. Eating less noddles n eat healthy (thinking of starting my workout regime, new swimsuit as a start! :))

I'm not sure I ate less noddles but I start swimming once or twice this year (haha).  bad thing is I develop the habit of consuming junk food. Oh why delivery food make everything too easy.

2. Read 12 books with varied tittle

bought and get more than 12 books, but only read 3  ( buy.ol.ogy, the red queen, jane eyre)

3. Watch more TV serials (Mad men, Bones, etc)

sure did, i watched castle, mad men, lie to me, friend with benefits, game of throne.

4. Add 3 new-real-best friends from work

I think I have even more. :)

5. Got engaged or even better (ahem!it's sound more like a hope rather than resolution,ha3!)

Alhamdulillah....nope not engage (by my definition, but plan to get married is yes)

6. successfully finished my 12 months orientation with awesome remark! :P

damn, the program is prolonged till February but Im feeling optimistic..

7. write more insightful stories on my blog

Did I? i'll give my silent reader  the pleasure to judge..hehe

8. save money consistently every months

I did, from the very 1st salary....it just a cold asset I cant use, anyway, I double saving now.. :)
9. always enjoy and grateful for everyday ahead! :)

well, mostly I am...

yay, mostly the resolution was accomplished, regardless the degree of success.hehe.

and for the year of 2012, Of course I made my resolution, this time more ambitious and tough. hehe, I'll share it next year to see whether my resolutions are achieved or not.

Anyway, It just happen to me an event that broke my heart where I was deeply sad.  But, life wont stop there right? maybe,  it is me need to adjust. Not to put my hope too high, not too naively dream for sweet jolly things for life is too real to be nice the whole time. I learn to give up the idea of romanticism. I dont want to get hurt and disappointed. so, better find a way to protect my self right?. I stop hoping other people will fully understand me, sympathize my feeling. I decided to stop loving any beautiful romantic ideas. I hate flowers, chocolate, candles, surprises. I lost the long to be loved. I dont need it anymore. I..emptied my heart. and it feels much much better this way. I might still hold people's hand, smiles, hugs and laugh. But, deep down here, emotions are gone. I'll just gonna keep everything I feel for myself. I will not ask or demand anything. I'll be good and nice and boring, just like stepford wife.

I'll start to live for my self. Go out, run, sing and smile all alone.Keep everything for my self, wont share it with anyone. Untill one day, there will be someone who can win my heart back. :) ( this part I should delete because I was being too much, my bad..haha) Fact is, I blinded my judgement based on one failing action but didnt see the whole picture. Thanks to Dinar to remind me to be more respectful towards precious experience love has brought to me, not only the sad part but the jolly and sweet moments.

 

 

 

white off

Time flies very fast I cant grasp nor froze it in my hand. Moments are gone and life getting even more real. I went home and find those smiles awaiting. Hold my breathe and wondering what will happen next. waiting is a moment that mostly filled with anxiety and curiosity. It ticklish.

while Expectation is a big word, when it miss the target, it could hurt. well, I am. But love is about never ending compromise isn't it?. so I decide to calmly compromise it. eat my hope alive. its fine, or it is not.

I am actually afraid, will that so enclosed soul could read my heart?. The tone I speak, the words I pick. will that be as crystal clear to that mind? Will love fully catch the meaning I try to deliver?.

I am afraid of being trapped. Into decision I don't fully agree. Into fights that gonna hurt my soul. Into consideration that not for the sake of myself. well..well well.........................................................................

my candy eyes, one is clearly upset about toys, haha!



The rock of my life



special occasion?ahem.



Mother day

'Selamat hari ibu mah, I love youu...'

I may not have the most romantic relationship with my mother, instead, we fight all the time and argue most of the day. There were moments when we went ballistic to each other. awful. I rarely said sweet words to her nor she to me. It was rough. bittersweet. we both stubborn with big ego. But, we both know that deep down in our heart we know we love each other so much.

I know she scarified a lot for me. Her life wasn't easy, behind all her 'fierce and scary' attitude she actually kind and generous person. she is my real example in doing good for others, people may rarely see it but she never hesitate to help people in need. even when we also not in a better situation. hehe.

she's the second strongest woman after my grandmother.

again, I love you mom....

Dear Life

Im tired, literally sick and now my lovely weekend plan is yet ruined by another so sudden work task. Yep. Im pissed off. But okay, I dont wanna sulk all the time I should face it anyway. wish me luck, may I not black out at the event. do I hate my job? nope, I actually love it but not the 'no weekends free' part. It sucks.

anyway, yesterday I just learn about  basic nutrition, since I was appointed as the nutrition awareness ambassador from my division. It was a total new thing to me, I learn a lot and it opened my eyes how unhealthy and unplanned our life is. As if, more mothers know the importance of consuming balance diet even before they get pregnant, well, maybe we'll have better generation since the consumption of Asam folate (orange, milk) will help add 10 point of IQ to the future baby. I think i'll write a lot more abouth the basic nutritional needs, in the mean time. It's a wrap. Gotta go for work.....bye

Happy weekend

Last weekend was fun. I have the chance to see my campus once again, involve in an activity that I am passionate about..English training..yaaay!. hehe, I love it when I can share something, at least gave a constructive critic for them who want to learn to improve their presentation skill. Anyway, It is fun to meet my friend, my partner in crime, specific crime..haha. Dinar, my old friend who share the very same passion and dream. Beside, I also have the whole Sunday with my boyfriend. We went from one mall to other hunt some stuffs. I love him around.

me and dinar

 

Hurray! hugs! hugs!

Emoticon

Dull day at the office, let this song do the talking... :p

The only good things today are these, candies and chocolate from Shanghai.

Im such a sweet tooth, White rabbit my favourite.

The Pretty pattern

Likewise, an out of town work trip last weekend. Lhokseumawe this time. In the very tiring and tight schedule I was able to sneak out from the event and bought some traditional, embroidery shoes and bag. Yay!. I love the shoes so much it's so unique and pretty. It made me thinking about  the potency of local products If they known internationally. It could be a huge business.

exclusive and pretty design

so ethnic and so chic

we actually have so much to offer, our product are very strong in term of character they boasts interesting value of  uniqueness and indigenousity. for example, the varied motif of Batik from Jogja, Cirebon, Pekalongan and Solo.
and, since Im from Cirebon, I'll explain lil bit about our Batik motif signature. In Cirebon, the signature called as Megamendung. The motif itself  originated from China since  the late ruler ( Sunan Gunung Djati) of Cirebon was married to a Chinese princess named ong tien. It's pattern rooted from Taoism taught that represent the transcendental meaning of the wide free world (for complete explanation please view this site ).

megamendung motif, curl like the cloud

Rrrrromatic Movie...

I must say,  we definitely watched too much romantic movies that irrelevant with the real context here in Indonesia ( a lot of my  female friends must be agreed on this). Haha. To be honest, I expect to be proposed romantically, the guy asking like in a movie. Nope, not with the bended knee or bucket of flowers nor staged romantic setting, just, he pop the question personally and make me surprised. which, in my case, it is sooo not happening. haha.

err, I wrote this not as a signal for my BF since I know he didn't really read my blog. Anyway, I've gave up on this long time ago. hiks.hiks.

btw, I stumble upon this link and I found this sick talent that just melt my heart away, Sungha Jung, a super talented guitarist from Korea. I listen to his acoustic the whole day and love it so much make me forget this
presentation I should make. haha. Seeing this uber awesome talent make me amazed I hope my children will be able to have this kind of musical genius.

Gardner's theory said that there are multiple intelligences exist: logic math intelligence, linguistic, spatial, art, musical, interpersonal etc. which I am very aware that Im suck at music I must be lay deep down in the bottom of whatsoever musical talent level that may exist. Im a tone deaf so I cant sing correctly, leave alone sing beautifully. Haha. But, I can play instrument though (proud!hehe).