Life.File.Efil

I feel exhausted
Physically and emotionally
I want something that more laid back
something more me


Maybe it is because everything at work are so uptight,
the deadline, the schedule... everything.
I feel kinda overwhelm..


But, it is a process. Of me growing, taking chances and doing life
for deep in my heart, I hope one day I will be able to change direction
going into place that I really want, do things I am really cool at..

I miss those corridor, when I can just walk passing through shelves of book,
type my laptop like crazy, browse journals like eating cookies..
being truly fascinated by science..
listen to words I never hear
See miracles I never imagine
And I feel burst of amazement...

Being pregnant

It is a nice thing knowing that I will have a small tiny baby, my own baby.

so Glad, buut, to be honest pregnancy is not an easy thing (atleast for me).

I've just past my 1st trimester and it went like super roller coaster.

The nausea the constant fatigue and sickness. argh.

Alhamdulillah I manage to get through it, with amazing support from my lovely husband.

Now, my baby is 15 weeks old, just having his/her first fingerprints and start to recognize

light. Havent experiencing any kicking yet but hopefully soon she/he shows some moves. Yes baby, dance as you like.... :)

anyway, Iam also super glad that I work in nutrition company, therefore I have quite

well rounded knowledge regarding pregnancy and baby's nutrition related. Really hope

the next 6 months will run smooth, am super healthy and the delivery process will be

just easy....amiin.

Aaand, my baby will not be bond to colour, boy or girl she/he is, any colour will be

freely use to add the cuteness. why?. who knows my baby is a gothic baby girls?, she will

look prettier wearing dark brown/black/grey..Oor..what if He is a cheerful baby boy?

isnt occasional pink or orange will be very cute?.

Hehe.

How to daddy?

Dear Bree...

If you ask me, who's daddy?

Daddy is the most lovely and kind man in our life,
He works hard for us
He gives us the best
and He loves us like crazy....krah..zeee!!!!

He is the person who will wake up at night to change your diapers (ya, mommy probably sleeping,hehe)
He is the person who will hold you when you cry
He is the person who will kiss you every day every time

and

He is the person who will buy you your first ice cream,
your cute baby clothes
your edgy stroller
your tiny padded shoes

so, bree
when you grown up
you have to love daddy with all your heart
Respect him, listen to what he says and be a good kid...

Dear Aubrey,...

Dear aubrey,

love is a wonderful things that could always surprisingly expand in a beautiful way.
Yesterday I realized that you're here (oh I almost cry writing this)
It was a mix feeling of shock, happiness and of course fear bloom in my heart.
Next days and months might not be easy, And I might not know everything nor get everytyhing come in perfection..

but, we can do it bree....sure we can do it...


we can be a great team, sure we do...


Bree,

I expect nothing but you to be the most clever, brave, honest , cool and kind person ever...




-love, mommy.-

Gratitude

life been so kind and so nice.
Iam so grateful having what I have now, seriously, cant thank enough...
Married, slightly changed my life rythem
I woke up earlier, sleep earlier
and the best part is
I have the chance to share this with the person I love.

and I cook
yadda yadda, I love cooking regardless the taste of my cooking..haha

counting minutes....

Now, two days left before my wedding vow (akad nikah).
these past months, down the path to marriage, was surely no easy.
there are moments when I broke down and kinda lil bit depressed.

because doing this, Im not without fear...
because planning this, I have to keep my eyes carefully observe and ear attentively listen..
If there's something I consider I cant take in the marriage, I'll put it on hold.

But, he did try his best.
staying there even when I act so vulnerable and mean
he seems so sure and strong willed

and it was him who make me see things differently
who get me pass through the storm and thunder
and gave me such wonderful small tiny place to live

I love him dearly...

Would you be......

6 years ago

the first time

He ask me to be his girl

this song was wrapped in a CD

and yes

the lyrics explain everything

:)