The sex and (not) the city!

okay. this post gonna talk about how i perceive my sexual experience.

well, since i was a child there is a huge wall between me and things called sex. yup, i hell know nothing about sex when i was a kid (well, i suppose it normally like this,hehe). to be honest, there are no culture about to talk about sex in my family. my mom and dad are so quiet about this. it make me think sex is something taboo and bad and a subject to avoid.

The bad thing is, when i emerged into my teen (with all those very sexual growth and environment) i become a total dummy about this. i remember my high school friend Indah (i wrote ur name deliberately, LOL) already expert in watching po*n. She even ask me to join her watching-porn-troops (yeah, some other girl and boys!), but i refuse. It is not because i am not interested, but because I dont dare to. i felt it is inappropriate to watch those stuff (either way it will make me more even confuse).

so, let say that my 19 years of life was all clean from any visual or auditory sexual content (such a saint!). The good thing is (outside of being a dummy), i never put my self into any sexual activity experience with (ehm) some jerks called ex-bf (i am soo glad i gave em nothin, HAHA!). so, i feel all good about my self. This inexperience in sex (or any kind of it) make me feel worth as a women in a strange way.

But then as i grow up, i become the victim of sexual exposure (from movies) just like billion others people (LOL). it really changed a lot of things. well it doesnt make me become sexually active or what, instead, it make me realize sex as a huge aspect of life that hold an important role in our life.

why it is important? hell the answer is clear. sex is not a mere process of satisfy human's basic need, but it is the core of our existence (i know im takling too far, haha!). well, my point is, since i saw those sexual graphics from movies..i learn a lot..(not the styles, u silly!). And it make me feel i am ready to embrace and dig up my sexuality..in term of, knowing how to love my body and treat it as a temple since in my religion it is forbidden to perform any kind of sex activity without marriage.

i just feel more mature and aware of the knowledge i should have..of course one day i'll have sex with someone so it is necessary to not look like a dummy and act like a nerd..haha..

in other hand, i think it is better for parents to have an appropriate sex talk with their children to avoid them being out of control with their sexual experience..i realize that sex is somehow will be recognize in their life, so why make them blindsided about this. Avoiding sex talk with your teen daughter and son will only lead them to the sex world journey without any supervision. it could end up really bad you know.

in my case, those dont ask dont tell strategy seems to work, it make me feel that i learn about sex in the right time (i was 19 anyway) and able to make a mature decision on it. yet i believe the nowadays challenge is different. parents should be more open about this subject.

anyway, perhaps it is weird but my first porn video to watch was yesterday indonesian artist leaking sex tape (i know its lame, haha). at first it was lika answering my curiousity, but a second later all i feel is disgust and gross..yucks! well it doesnt mean i think sex is a bad and disgusting, i just dont think those graphics are aesthetics enough to enjoy, some part are just deplorable. from that experience i can conclude that i dont like porn!. Sex scene in some movies are seriously better and more watchable..

i am a good girl after all... (sigh). I believe sex is beautiful and sacred but also dangerous and tricky. So, choose your best time to learn (or practice) sex. be a clever and responsible girl is not that hard..